The Devil and IM Weasel
by The Art Wizard
Summary: Based on the short story "The Devil and Daniel Webster". Johnny makes a deal with HIM so he can get all the hot mamas he wants. But he'll realize that such a deal comes with a price. Will I.M. Weasel get him out of the contract?
1. The Deal

The Devil and I. M. Weasel

Chapter One: The Deal

As we all know, Johnny Bravo is always trying to get all the ladies. Or as he likes to say, "the Hot Mamas".

His usual tactic was to run up on a pretty lady, flex his big muscles and hope for the best.

But of course, it never turns out for the best in Johnny's case.

It's like no matter how hard he tried, he can never seem to get a break: He tried flexing those massive muscles of his. Nothing. He called them all "Hot Mama" and "Foxy Lady". Still nothing. He even showed them his karate moves. And that usually results in them beating him up.

Now, normally, he would just move on to the next lady he sees and try again. But as of late, he's been really feeling down about all the rejection.

"Aw, man!" Said Johnny in his Elvis Presley voice, "All these Hot Mamas, and none of them wanting this hunk!"

He was sitting on the couch watching the television, watching all those pretty girls on the beach, wearing those hot, sexy bikinis. He was at that same beach earlier that same day. He hit on all of them there and every single one of them turned him down. And there was at least a thousand people on the beach. I mean it is spring break after all.

"Johnny!" the sound of his mother's voice got his attention. She walked in the living room with a plate of fresh baked cookies. "I thought you could use some cheering up after all you've been through today. I made your favorite: chocolate chip!" She puts the plate beside him.

"Thanks, Mama." Said Johnny as he grabbed a handful of the steaming cookies and wolfed them down. Despite the comfort food, he was still upset.

Mama Bravo knew this, "Now Johnny, I know you're upset about what happened today. But don't let that get you down."

Johnny sighed, "It's not just that, Mama. It's just…none of those little ladies I've tried to get want any of this." He then starts flexing, showing of his gorgeous build. "It's hopeless."

"Now, don't say that." Mama Bravo said, "Sure you had…a lot of setbacks. But Johnny, you just got to keep trying."

The spring break program cut to a commercial for the attorney-at-law I.M. Weasel:

"Attention!" Weasel announced on the T.V. screen, "If you or someone you know is having their rights and freedoms infringed upon, they must stand up for them. And they don't have to do it alone. Call I.M. Weasel: Attorney-at-law, at 1-800-WESL. That's 1-800-WESL."

Mama Bravo gently sighed at the commercial, "Oh, bless that weasel. His heart's in the right place."

Johnny got up from his seat, "I-I'm gonna call it a day, Mama." He walks to his room.

"Alright. Goodnight, Johnny!"

* * *

In his room, Johnny sat in front of his mirror and looked at himself: his big, blonde hairdo. His super-cool sun-shades. His pitch-black shirt. His big muscles. How could he not have all the chicks?

Yet, here he is. Single. A bachelor. And he still lives with his Mama on top of that.

Of course, he didn't complain about that last one, but he still can't understand why none of those hot babes in town want him.

"Man, this stinks!" Johnny whined, "No pretty mama should resist this all this."

He flexes again.

Get used to it, folks. He does that a lot.

But it didn't last long, as he immediately went back to sulking. "If there was a sure-fire way to grab a babe, I'll take it. I'll give anything for that!"

Suddenly, the ground began to shake. "Whoa, now!" exclaimed Johnny as he shot up and looked around as his room moved around and his furniture went all over the place. "Mama!" he shouted, hoping his mom was okay, or even notices the quake.

BOOSH!

The quake abruptly stopped. Johnny saw in the very middle of his room some guy. He had red skin, a big, unsettling smile, a…uh, dress, knee-high high heels and metallic lobster pinchers for hands.

Johnny cocked his brow.

This wasn't the weirdest thing he's ever seen, but it was definably a close second.

The weird man in his room walked up to him and spoke with the most disturbing voice, "Did you say 'anything'?"

"Now hold on right there, kid!" Johnny blurted, "Who are you and how'd you get in my house?"

"Oh! Where are my manners?" said the red intruder. He pulls out a card from his pocket and hands it, or sure I say, claws it to Johnny, "Here's my card."

Johnny looks at the little card and it reads:

 **Devil May Care Assistance Foundation**

 **HIM**

 **Founder/President/CEO**

Johnny cocked his brow again, "President _and_ CEO? Isn't that the same thing?"

"Let's not get into the technicalities." Pleaded HIM, "Now, I heard you in quite a pickle. Am I wrong?"

"Well…" Johnny thought a bit, "I've been having trouble trying to get chicks."

HIM grinned wider, "Oh, yes! The old 'I can't get a girlfriend' dilemma. Well, show me what you're working with and we _might_ help you out."

"'We'?" asked Johnny.

"Oh, right!" HIM remembered, "My associate is here too." He looks around but couldn't find his partner. "D'oh, where is he? Eddy! Where are you?"

RIP!

The carpet tore open and underneath was a preteen boy with three strains of hair on his head and wore a yellow shirt and blue shorts. "Right here, HIM!"

Johnny groaned, "Aw, man. That was expensive carpet too."

"Don't sweat it, Presley!" Eddy stated, "Once we get you a girl, there'll be more carpet where that came from."

HIM rolled his eyes, "Oh, boy!"

Johnny had to ask, "Can you guys _really_ help me?"

"Can we?" rhetorically asked Eddy, "Is the pope cath-OOF!"

"Thank you, Eddy. That's enough!" HIM pushed his associate out the way. "Now, Johnny, are you by any means capable of attracting a, how you say, a 'Hot Mama'?"

"Sure can!" said Johnny, "Just watch this!" naturally his starts flexing and showing off his muscles and karate moves.

"Hmm, yes!" said HIM, "Very masculine! What do you think, Eddy?"

"Perfect!" Eddy announced, "The bod of a god. It'll be a walk in the park I tell ya!"

Johnny stopped flexing, "So, does that mean you'll help me?"

"Why, of course we'll help." HIM delightfully said, "There's just one thing that _might_ stand it your way…"

"What? What is it?" Johnny asked, on his knees pleading.

HIM simply answered, "If you don't want it badly enough!"

"But I want to! Really! I do!"

"Hmm hmm. You talked me into it." He turns to Eddy, "Contract!"

The short preteen pulled a sheet of paper from his pocket and showed it to Johnny.

Johnny cocked his brow at this, "Why do I need to sign a contract?"

"Legal purposes." Assured HIM, "Let's not get into the technicalities."

Eddy took over, "This contract promises that we will fulfill what you desire. And our work is one-hundred-percent guaranteed."

Johnny liked the sound of that: one-hundred-percent guaranteed to get him a pretty lady! How could he say no to that? No need to read the contract. "Gimme a pen! I'll sign!"

"Excellent!" HIM cheered, "Eddy! The pen!"

Eddy drew out a small needle and handed it to Johnny. Johnny naturally cocked his brow at this, "Uh, that's a sewing pin."

"Exactly."

"How am I going to sign with this?"

HIM chuckled, "We _always_ use blood."

Johnny became squeamish, "B-B-Blood?"

"Yes, blood." Nodded HIM, "It symbolizes our bond together. Besides, blood's more permanent."

Johnny began to have second thoughts, "Say, uh, can't I talk to my Mama about this?"

HIM swiped the contract from the Elvis wannabee, "Sure you can. We'll be back next year. We're very busy you know. C'mon, Eddy!"

Johnny panicked, "Next year‽" he cut in front of them. "No, No! Wait! I-I'll sign!"

"Good. Very good." HIM said. They pulled the contract and pin back out and gave it to Johnny who was sticking out his index finger, ready to be pricked.

Johnny, mustering his courage, stuck the needle into his finger and using the now bleeding tip, wrote his full name on the dotted line at the bottom.

HIM grinned with delight, "Now with the hard part out of the way, Eddy, give this man your personal attention."

Eddy grinned as well, "You got it, HIM!"

After a while, Mama Bravo walked into his room, "Johnny, you forgot your cookies." She looked around his room and saw he wasn't there. "Johnny? Johnny!"

An eerie shadow loomed over the room and a voice unheard by Mama Bravo chortled, "Too late, Mama Bravo. Your boy signed with me!"

* * *

 **BOO!** **Scared you, didn't I? Oh, I didn't? Okay...Well, anyway, Happy Halloween! Since nobody voted on the polls, I just had to chose who the villain would be myself. Not that I'm holding that against anyone. In case you don't know, this story is based on the short story "The Devil and Daniel Webster". It also borrows from the short "The Devil and Daniel Mouse" which is loosely based on said short. Well, it looks like Johnny made a deal with HIM and Eddy. This can't be good. What happens next? Stay tuned to find out!**


	2. The Price

**Hey there all you creepy, spooky boys and ghouls out there! Sorry for the wait but here's chapter two of The Devil and I.M. Weasel. Mwahahahaha!**

 **DISCLAIMER: Everything is owned by Cartoon Network**

* * *

Chapter Two: The Price

After several months, the deal Johnny had made with HIM was really showing to be very reliable: With so many girls falling for him, he can barely keep up with any of them. But I'm getting ahead of myself…Let's start from the beginning; after Johnny signed the contract.

Eddy quickly took Johnny under his wing. He took Johnny back to his room to see what they needed to change. "Okay, Johnny-boy!" he said "You want girls, right? So, let's go get'em. But first, we need to change your outfit."

Johnny cocked his brow, "What! No way! The chicks love this look!"

"Do you want my help or not?" quickly bit back Eddy, "'Cause if you don't, I can just take this here contract and let HIM null it!" He waves the contract at Johnny.

"…I'll be good."

"Okay!" Eddy went into his closet and looked for some clothes to give Johnny to try. "Hmm, no, that won't do. Or maybe…Yeah, that'll do! And what if…ooh! Not bad. Okay Johnny. Try these on!"

He gave the Elvis impersonator all the clothes he took from the closet. After a few minutes, Johnny finally put on the outfit: he sported a white turtleneck with a red and blue jacket over it. He also wore striped jeans with a belt and black and white sneakers.

Eddy smiled, "Hey! Not bad, Lady-Killer!"

"Uh, you sure this will get me girls?" Johnny asked skeptically.

"Sure, it will!" answered Eddy, "Now that your all dressed up, it's time for some catch phrases."

"Like what?" Asked the Elvis wannabee

Eddy informed, "How 'bout 'Hey, Good-lookin'.Wha'cha got cookin'?' or 'Hi there Hot Mama. Wanna start some drama?'."

Johnny shrugged, "I've heard better, but whatever, I'll try it out."

"Now, let's get out into town!" Eddy grinned and lead Johnny to the city.

To make a long story short, Johnny and Eddy made it to town and while Johnny was doing just what Eddy told him to do, Eddy used a special kind of sorcery HIM taught him to get all the girls to fall desperately for Johnny.

"Hey!" Said Johnny, "Your training really works!"

Eddy smiled wickedly, "Don't expect anything less from Devil May Care Assistance Foundation."

* * *

After several months, Johnny quickly became not just the most sought-after man among the ladies in his town, but also the most sought-after man among the ladies in the world! He was everywhere: Magazines, Television talk show programs, Movies, he was voted 'Sexiest Man of All Time', he even became an internet meme.

It wasn't until one day, when Johnny was walking home with all his new lady friends, Eddy said to his client, "It appears to me that you've gotten every girl all over you. You think that's enough?"

Johnny smiled, "You kidding me? It's more than enough! I don't know how to thank you guys."

"Oh, leave that to HIM, he'll tell you all about it." Eddy snickered as he and Johnny walk inside his house, "Okay, ladies, Johnny's gotta go. Come back tomorrow!" The ladies screamed as they saw them walk inside.

"Mama! I'm home." Johnny shouted to inform his mother.

"She's out, Johnny."

Johnny turned to see HIM sitting on the couch, eating a plate of cookies, "But she made your favorite. Better eat up! Because they'll be your last."

Johnny got startled, "What‽"

"Oh, you mean you forgot?" HIM teased.

"Forgot what‽"

"Why, it's in the contract that you sighed." He pulls the contract from out his pocket and read it aloud: "At Midnight of the day he declares his satisfaction, the party of the first part (that's you) must give up his soul now and forever more to the party of the second part (that's me)."

"What‽" Johnny grabbed the contract and looked through it, "That can't be right!"

HIM grabs the contract back from the man, "I'm afraid it is, my friend. Now, let's get going!"

Johnny begged, "Wait! I can't go yet!"

"But you must." Order HIM.

"No. I mean it's not Midnight yet. See?" he points to the clock. It read nine o'clock night.

HIM growled, "Stupid technicalities. It's ALWAYS technicalities!" he turns back to Bravo. "Alright! Fine! You have until Midnight to say goodbye to you Mama and all your friends." Both He and Eddy puffed away after that.

* * *

Johnny waited for his mother to come home. He wanted her to be the first to say good-bye to. He waited until the door opened, "Johnny!" Mama Bravo cried, "I've bought some groceries. I'll need your help-" she paused as she realizes her son was crying. "Johnny! What's the matter, Baby?"

Johnny immediately hugs her, "Oh, Mama!" Tears stream from his eyes as he embraced her.

"Oh, bless your heart, Johnny?" Mama Bravo said, "What's gotten into you?"

"Mama, you know how I got all those ladies and attention, right?"

"Are you kidding? You'd have to be stupid to not know that!"

"Well, Mama, the reason why I got all this is 'cause, Well…"

Mama Bravo makes Johnny look her in the eye, "Well what, Johnny?"

"…I sold my soul to HIM!"

"HIM‽" panicked Mama Bravo, "You mean the HIM‽"

Johnny nods, "And at Midnight tonight he'll take me away. And I wanted to say good-bye to you before-"

"No he won't!"

Mama Bravo walked into the kitchen, Johnny followed her, "But Mama, there's nothing we can do."

"There is one thing we can try!" She saws him an ad for I.M. Weasel: Attorney-at-law. She dialed the number and talked, "Hello? I'd like to speak with Mr. Weasel. Oh, this is him? Well, Mr. Weasel, my son has got into a legal action that has violated his freedom. Could you come down here and-"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

"Oh! That was fast!"

Johnny opened the door and there he was; I.M. Weasel, ready for duty.

"Fear not, Madam and Sir." He spoke, "For I am Weasel!" he walks in, "Now, what seems to be the problem?"

Johnny confessed, "Well, it's like this…"

After some explaining, Weasel got the whole story. "I see. Not to worry, Mr. Bravo. I.M. Weasel is on the case."

BOOM!

HIM and Eddy appeared, HIM looked at his watch, "My! Would you look at the time! Come along now, Johnny!"

Eddy laughed, "Another day, another sap! The more souls he gets, the more it translates into money for me!"

"Not so fast!" Weasel stepped up, "I won't let you take him!"

HIM giggled, "His got to! He sighed a contract!" he shows him the pact.

Weasel argued, "Then I challenge the contract! We have the right to!"

HIM giggled again, "I like that!"

"You do?" Asked Eddy confusingly.

"Yes! I'll go to court…under three conditions."

Weasel didn't like the sound of that but answered, "Okay. What are they?"

"Condition number one: I supply the jury!"

"That's not fair!" Weasel retaliated.

HIM grinned, "Fair shmair! Take it or leave it." He continued, "Condition number two: I supply the judge. Condition number three: If you lose, then I get **both** of you!"

"I accept!" said Weasel.

"What, little rat guy!" Johnny said, "You don't need to put _your_ life on the line."

Weasel answer, "Mr. Bravo, I'd rather go down with you than let my client suffer alone."

Johnny smiled, "Gee, thanks man."

Mama Bravo kissed Weasel on the cheek, "Bless you, sir."

HIM and Eddy grinned, thinking they can't possibly lose. HIM hissed, "Let the trail begin!"

* * *

 **Ooh! This is really starting to get interesting! Will Weasel get Johnny out of the contract, or will the both of them be more victims of HIM's evil plan? Find out next time in the final chapter of The Devil and I.M. Weasel. Until then, stay scary!**


	3. The Trial

**BOO! Did I scare you this time? No? Shoot! Oh well, I tried. Oh, yeah! Here's the finale of The Devil and I.M. Weasel. Read along...if you dare!**

 **DISCLAIMER: Everything is owned by Cartoon Network**

* * *

Chapter Three: The Trail

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Shouted Eddy at the top of his lungs, "This court is now in section: The Devil v. I.M. Weasel. Judge Eddy residing!"

Eddy was standing on top of a large bench wearing a powdered wig and a robe, whapping his gavel on the desk.

The whole trail was taking place in Johnny's house: He, his mother and Weasel were sitting on one side of the living room, HIM was sitting on the other.

"Call the jury!" commanded HIM.

"First juror!"

The floor opened; fire and brimstone skittered out into the relatively cooler air. The first juror slipped up out the hole and walked to the couch like it was the jury box. The juror looked like in elderly man wearing overalls and a hat.

"I know that man!" said Weasel.

Johnny asked, "You do?"

"That's Eustace Bagge! He was a horrible human being. He didn't care about anybody but himself."

Eddy continued, "Second juror."

Out of the same hole, the second juror slithered his body out the opening and walked to the couch. He wasn't as old as Eustace, but he was balding and wore a black robe.

"You know that guy?" Johnny asked Weasel.

"That's Gargamel! He dedicated his life to sorcery and witchcraft. And of course, torturing helpless creatures didn't help."

"Third juror." Eddy's voice chimed.

Finally, the third juror rose from the hole and found her place on the couch. She was taller than the two men next to her, she was also red in color like HIM, only darker. She also had an afro and a vizor that covered her eyes.

"Whoa!" Said Johnny excitedly, "Who's that hot mama?"

"Now's not the time, Johnny." Weasel said, "But if you're so curious, that's Garnet. She's here because…well, let's just say she isn't the straightest line in the sand."

Johnny thought about it for a second, "… … …Oh! I get it."

Eddy then commanded, "Call the first witness."

HIM raises up and says, "I call His Infernal Majesty. Otherwise known as _**ME!**_ "

Eddy and the jury shudder in fear at HIM's sudden outburst. Weasel interjected, "I object!"

"Overruled!" Eddy silenced Weasel. He turns to HIM, "Stat your case."

HIM walked over to Johnny and showed him the contract, "Mr. Bravo, is this _your_ signature written in _your_ blood?"

Johnny frowned, "Uh, yeah?"

HIM turns to Eddy, "I have no further questions, Your Honor."

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" Eddy asked.

Eustace, Gargamel and Garnet said in unison: "Guilty!"

"I object!" Weasel shouted, "We haven't gotten our turn! Both sides must have an equal opportunity to speck their side!"

HIM growled, "Technicalities! It's always technicalities!" he huffs, "Alright! You can have your turn! But hurry it up!"

"Hurry it up!" repeated the Jury.

"Hurry it up!" shouted Judge Eddy.

Weasel made his case, "I find the contract no good because my client was not informed about the price he'd have to pay."

"It says it right here in the contract!" informed HIM.

Eddy grinned at Weasel's failed attempt there, "Anything else?"

Weasel went on to his next case: "I find the contract no good because my client didn't understand the consequences before sighing!"

HIM retaliated, "That sounds more like a personal issue than a legal one."

Eddy made a wicked smile again, "This is your last chance!"

Weasel quickly thought about it, and with a huff he made this statement: "Your Honor, Lady and Gentlemen of the Jury, I started my lawyer business because I believe all people have the God-given right to be free. And nobody should practice _their_ 'so-called rights' through the forced expense of someone else. My client made a mistake, true, but even in a legal position he's freedom, or anyone's freedom for that matter, should **never** be the price to pay. All creatures, big and small, young and old, should be free. And no matter what, I will fight of this man's, and everyone's, freedom!"

Mama Bravo cried during that little speech, the Jury had mixed reactions: Eustace scoffed at what he heard, Gargamel simply rolled his eyes, Garnet just gave Weasel the thumbs-up. Eddy and HIM however yawned.

"That's cute and all," HIM said sarcastically, "But I'm afraid his soul still belongs to me."

"Yeah, I had a feeling you would say that." Weasel simply said, "So that's why I had a plan B." he calls out, "Oh, Girls!"

Immediately, the Powerpuff Girls, Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup, zoomed into the room, with the look of anger on their faces.

"Oh,no…" HIM weakly whined.

Blossom spoke, "So, you like taking peoples' souls, don't you? Well, we'll just have to teach you a lesson! C'mon Girls!"

And, well, to make a long story short, they beat the ever-living tar out of HIM.

"WAIT! STOP!" HIM started pleading, "I'LL FREE HIM! I'LL FREE HIM! JUST STOP HITTING ME!"

HIM then grabbed the contract and ripped it into a million pieces.

"And do you promise to leave him alone?" Asked Weasel.

"Yes! I will!"

"And you'll stop with this whole taking people's souls thing?"

"Yes! I'll stop! Just leave me alone!"

HIM starts to cry like a baby while Eddy awkwardly and fearfully wraps thing's up. "Uh, so yeah! Uh, court adjourned!"

KNOCK!

With that gavel strike, the court disappeared, and everything was back to normal.

"Thanks, Weasel guy." Said Johnny, "I own you one."

Weasel shook his head, "No need. Just doing what's right."

Johnny grinned, "Now, to see all those pretty mama's again." He rushes outside, "Hey there, babies. Daddy's back!" But to his surprise, all the women that swooned over him weren't there. "Hey! Where is everybody?"

"Uh oh!" Weasel said, "I believe when HIM ripped up the contract, it's deal with you became null-and-void."

"…What does that mean?"

"That means no more girls coming after you for a while."

Johnny lowered his head. Mama Bravo walked up to him, "It's alright, Johnny! I know it's hard for you to get a girl, but remember, no matter what happens, you'll always be my little man."

This brought a smile to Johnny's face and he hugged his mother, "Oh, Mama…"

* * *

 **Well, that's the end! How did you like it? Were you scare for Johnny? Was it suspenseful? Hold it, wait, I think I already know the answer: No. I mean, i wasn't supposed to be intense anyway. It was just for fun.**

 **Well, I just hope all of you had a fun and safe Halloween. And so, I wish you a wonderful day and God bless you, my fellow creatures of the night.**


End file.
